Being a YES parent
I’m still new at this parenting thing. After all my kids are only 4, 2 1/2 and 7 months. I think I will always feel new in this game called parenting though. New ages, new stages, correct?
When Michael and I come across families that we admire we always ask for their wisdom and any advice they may have to offer. Time and time again we have heard to be YES parents. This has been explained to us by simply choosing to say yes, unless it is obviously something that isn’t good for them or could cause harm.
I am not sure why this is so hard but for some reason it is. Though it almost seems second nature to tell our kids no, we strive to say yes instead. Have you ever heard the quote about how we speak to our children becomes their inner voice? I am not sure who said it but I used to repeat this to myself when teaching preschool and now I reiterate it to myself in the day to day joys (and throws) of motherhood. I think this quote is referring to our tone but we can look at it from another view too. If we are telling our children yes, we are creating a ‘yes, can do’ voice in their heads. I also believe we are helping them form a creative mind set and believe in themselves that they can achieve whatever it is they are dreaming up.
When our children are accustomed to us telling them yes, they will trust that when we do say no, it will have a good reason behind it. (Health, safety, etc.)
How do we put YES parenting into action?
Okay, yall may think we are crazy but here is how we practice being YES parents. Remember, our children are still little so the yes’s to their questions are inevitability easier than they will be 5 or 10 years from now. When we are about to do something out of the usual we normally start with, “Hey! Y’all want to do something crazy?” It is hilarious how much they have caught on to this.
Some of YES’s are:
Can we have cereal for dinner? YES! (As long as we haven’t done it everyday that week…)
Can I go play at the neighbors house?
Can I sleep on my napmat on the floor instead of my bed? (Not sure why that is appealing ☺️)
Can I wear these shoes instead of those?
Can I help cook dinner?
Can we have a dance party?
Can I skip washing my hair today and wash it tomorrow?
See…told you their questions make this whole YES parent thing easy thus far. But really, yes just seems to be whole lot more inconvenient then saying no.
As they grow older I am sure their questions will make it much harder to say yes. I will have to re-write or likely edit this post years from now. Hey, I may even have to delete it! 😂 But there are far too many parents that have gone before us and have reaped the reward of this route that it is hard to turn down the idea! What is the harm in trying?
All of that to say, our hope is that by being a YES parent we build our children’s trust in themselves. We want them to trust themselves to make good choices. Their thing right now is asking if any and everything on tv is good for them. We used to answer for them but now we let our 4 year old decide. Thankfully he almost always errs on the side of caution.
We also hope to instill their trust in us. We want them to know that we have their back. We don’t just want to squash their ideas and dreams. We want them to trust that we want them to go and do just as bad as they do. As any parent, we just want healthy and safe boundaries.
So heres to being YES parents!
Thanks for taking a ‘snippet’ from our world!